Mum once told me how to hold onto hope in hard times

Dear friends,

It wasn’t all that long ago I found myself watching the news from my native Serbia with Mum. Protests in my hometown of Belgrade were going on for some nine months at the time - with people calling for greater press freedoms, electoral reform and increased government transparency.

‘Did taking to the streets ever work?’ I asked her.

See, civil disobedience is a fairly common past-time in the old country. Protests have played a key role in the Balkans for at least the last thirty years. My parents were around for a critical one in the early 90s, but we’ve lived in Australia since then, watching our home from a distance.

She looked a little sad.

‘Well, it seems useless for a while, and then suddenly there’s a change and you get something big done,’ she shrugged.

With this in mind, I’ve been watching the news from the United States about a likely overturning of Roe v. Wade, the landmark 1973 Supreme Court ruling ensuring a woman’s right to choose. Like many of you, I've been reflecting and speaking to friends, loved ones, colleagues, and truthfully - the air feels a bit heavy right now. As international human rights academic and researcher Dr. Tania Penovic shared on The Download this week - what we’re seeing overseas is ‘transnational, and very active in Europe’.

There’s a lot of noise, and uncertainty. It’s not the first time in recent years that women and femmes have been left feeling like there’s a quiet force working to make our lives harder. Here at home, there’s also the recent confirmation of what I know many people have been feeling - women are burnt out in the workplace, and experiencing a startling amount of exclusion and harassment to boot.

I asked Mum whether she ever felt hopeless. After all, she’s seen more than her share of things - two dictatorships, a heartbreaking civil war, and moving her young family to a strange new country with very little in her bags to start a new life.

’No, I never felt like there was no hope. But now that I’m older, I realise that along with big changes and revolutions, you also need small, stable change,’ she said.

And so with Mum’s advice, this week I’m focusing on the things around me that prove we’re still heading in the right direction.

There’s the apology from the Australian Football League to female and non-binary Aussie rules umpires, after a report from the University of Sydney highlighted a culture of misogyny, sexual harassment and spectator abuse. Only 2.6 per cent of AFL umpires are women - and with acting AFL chief Kylie Rogers reaffirming the code’s commitment to ensuring a safe, welcoming and inclusive environment across every level of the game, there’s some hope that this number will grow.

Or, in another industry entirely, leaders in the aged care sector are calling for a 25 per cent wage increase to fight for gender equality. Aged care providers have been united in their support for a pay rise for their workers but until now, no one had highlighted a specific figure. This week, UnitingCare Australia National Director, Claerwen Little changed that, and named a price that could start to address the gendered nature of pay disparities in the sector.

There’s the incredible work of Geraldine Bilston - family violence victim-survivor, advocate and campaigner - who is making the most of the five-word question that changed everything. After she was asked ‘Are you okay at home?’ by a member of hospital staff, she made it her mission to help victim-survivors, their loved ones and families talk about domestic violence. I first heard Geraldine’s story on There’s No Place Like Home, and once again I’m blown away by everything she does to raise awareness of solutions for domestic and family violence. You can follow her important work, here.

I’ll admit to feeling a tiny bit dejected during this election - policy debate has given way to ‘gotcha’ moments and there's been more shouting than I’d like to see from our nation’s leaders. My antidote? Chats with friends, the occasional Twitter blackout and hearing from our mates at The Squiz, who have been unpacking parties, politics, policies, candidates and more in their Squiz The Election series. If you’ve got a burning question in the lead up to May 21 and like your news agenda-free and accessible, I recommend you check out the team’s Saturday podcast Ask The Squiz and ask about what matters to you.

Which reminds me... what are you up to tonight? Future Women’s politically-savvy Content Chief Jamila Rizvi is hosting the HerVote election panel with four female candidates shaking things up as we head to the polls, including Minister for Families and Social Services Anne Ruston, Labor Senator Jenny McAllister, Greens Senator Sarah Hanson-Young and Independent Candidate Allegra Spender. Join us at 7.30pm in our members-only Facebook group to ask the questions you want answered, and find out what you need to know before the big vote.

Elsewhere at Future Women, my colleagues and I are preparing for this month's round of speed mentoring. If you have questions about asking for a pay rise, writing persuasive emails or nailing your next job interview, sign up for a session and we'll tackle your challenges together.

So, by my count, there are a lot of ticks in the 'things to be grateful for' column. I must make a mental note to tell Mum. I spoke to her yesterday, but it was mostly to gush about Jamila's beautiful reflection on parenting and caring from the first major anthology by parents with disabilities, We've Got This.

I leave you with one final thought, from another incredible woman in my life. Karen, an early mentor in my career, was a veritable force of nature. She had a knack for taking on tough projects and finding new ways to deliver. I’d never seen someone tackle each and every challenge with as much enthusiasm as she did.

Her advice, when I asked her how she managed to keep forging ahead?

‘The same way you’d eat an elephant. One, small bite at a time. Otherwise you’ll never start,’ she replied with a wink.

With hope always,

Bojana Kos
Senior Content Producer, Future Women